Kenyan ICT CFT Course Online Facilitator Training

-first you acknolegde the post by the member

- however point out the section that is offending

- show element that can hurt many

- how it offends you and possibly others

- suggest a possible remedy to the offending post e.g. withdrawing it, appologising

I will first try not to judge the participant. I will express my feeling towards his post and give reason for my feeling. I will let the offending participant know I have no control over his response but will let him have an opportunity to be heard.This will allow me to know his feelings. I will let him know  I was interested in providing opportunity for him to change.

I will start by calling the house to order and kindly seek attention of all members to stop posting. This is to calm down the situation. I will have escalated the origin of offending message or post and the first participants to respond. In any argument there must be those two groups. I will then try to find out why he/she posted the same. I will also try to find out his intention i.e was it to pass the information contained in the post or what he says about that message. If it doesn't offend him I will bring in the sense of the other participants who (meanwhile will be following the discussion) were offended because they don't hold the same faith. I will also bring in the idea of "someones' meat is another persons' poison"  
By this time I will have  brought the temperatures down.Then I ask him his opinion on the matter for me to get his stand on the matter now that he has realized it's not him but his post offended some group members.

I will then turn to the offended group and inform them that the offender has realized that his post was irrelevant to the group and that they should not react anymore on the matter. I will also apologize on behalf of the offender because i know whichever the stand the offender takes the matter must end at that particular point.

The first thing I will do is to apologize for being away for long and hence arriving late. I would then greet them in a warmly manner, then recognize and appreciate their continuous presence and contributions. Next is to be sorry for what has happened.I would also ask the offender for his/her opinion as to why he/she did this. Perhaps he/she may be regretting and is sorry. This could then form an opportunity to call for calmness. I will then remind them of the importance of chatiquette in an online forum or chat room, etc. For instance reading and editing before posting, thinking of the consumers and the possible repercussions. The next move is to remind members on importance of apologizing to the offended. It is also prudent to ask members to stop the discussion on the matter and focus on the topic of discussion.

Firstly, I would seek the attention of all participants, call the house to order by requesting the participants to hold on their posts to the discussion forum for a while, till when a green light for them to continue is announced.

Secondly, I would apologize for my being absent, away from the online family group for the better part of the morning session but still explain that was due to unavoidable circumstances:(impromptu meeting.)

Thirdly, I would acknowledge and appreciate their continued online presence, contributions and commitment to the course.

I would then cool down the temperatures by noting the offending post, bringing it to the fore,and elaborating how offensive it is. Emphasizing the need to acknowledge other peoples deeply held religious beliefs and respecting them just as much as we would want our religious beliefs respected. The need to be tolerant of each other. I would insinuate the philosophy that "we do unto others what we would want done to us." Fair treatment, that is.

Then as the rest of the participants continue to meditate upon this school of thought, I would privately communicate with the erring participant to hear and find out their frame of mind, their part of the opinion/reasoning behind the essence of the issue (their post)

 Having jointly deliberated on the post, I would then suggest to them that they withdraw their earlier offensive post and apologize to the family.

Once an apology is rendered, I would bring it to the attention of the whole house the need to forgive the errant participant, bury the hatchet, and let bygones be bygones, never to continually mention about it again.

Next, I would make it known to the online family group the need to continually keep the threads that weave us together as a family as strong as possible, until we all together as a family accomplish the objectives of the course as well as beseech them to be careful about the kind of posts they do. That they should "think about the consequent of their posts before they post"

Aluta Continua! The green light is on!!!

The NVC model developed by Dr Marshall Rosenberg, atempts to explain individuals respond to situations the way they do, using the analogy of the jackal and the jiraffe. This model tends to suggest that there is always underlying meaning behind every behaviour.

In this case it is important to try to understand what might have prompted the participant to post his/her negative view of other people’s faiths.

To begin with, I would ask my self why did the participant decide to post such message?

 could it be that the poster of the negative message professe a different faith hence, talking ill of another religion was not a big issue? Or the individual might have interpreted some of the sections of debate to be targeting his/her faith unfarely? Or the individual was just exhausted after the long meeting and that contributed to his/her short temper.

Secondly, it is proper to stop posting your discussion a bit to acclimatize whith what might have really transpired before and at the posting of the violent message. This technical pause would be a good moment of studying the next reaction of the participant who had posted the message and the same time analyzing the underlying reason that prompted the participant to behave so.

Thirdly, this is now the proper moment to post a friendly none-violent question to the participant. For example, “what is it? I guess some one might have annoyed you”.

Fourthly, through his/her reaction, other participants are able to learn what really made the individual to post the message.

Fifthly, if you realize he/she was reacting to a specific situation, remark or feeling, it is always important to appreciate his feeling and at the same time re-direct the debate to take a positive line.           

Because this is a forum and it can happen again, it is important to try to bring it to closure. My response will be " I perfectly understand your anger and I can feel it, I want you to understand that we have different religious affiliations and we have different ways of worship. It is vital we respect how each one of us worships. This forum is however, intended for academic discourse and not for religious undertones. I will appreciate if we keep our religious matters to ourselves" This advice will be followed with a private email to the concerned party a form of guidance and counselling

Accordingto Dr Rosenburg NVC  model it is likely to be a line where discussions becomes a conflict which potentially destroys an online community .In responding, to this issue i will utilize the elements from the Non _Violent communication(NVC) model.This model proposes using a giraffe  and jackal approach.

The following are some of the ways that i will employ  to solve the conflict;

My first reaction might be to banning the individual from the discussion but because i do not want to create an environment where people feel their views are oppressed i will realize the need to maintain a healthy debate with diversity of opinion and thoughts.

 I will ascertain the source of the reason for the comment and what might have stirred up the discussion to take that direction.Once i have identified,  i would ask the participants to help in clearing up the mess from among themselves and stay stay focused on the discussion.

I will not attack immediately to avoid providing subjective response....i will then close the discussion thread temporaly to give everyone a chance to pause and reflect.I wold then ask the participants who were involved privately to try and take into consideration other peoples opinion in a debate.

I will also encourage the participants involved to see the value of different ideas and perspectives,

I will also highlight that the comments that were made may be viewed in negative light by those who hold different beliefs,I use this opportunity to point out to other participants that in as much as they have their own beliefs,it is also imperative  to value the input made by others.

I will encourage all the participants to know that in discussions there is a need  for each one to show respect to others.

In response to the current problem I would do the  following:

 First,I would give a  general  greeting note to all participants to get my presence. I would identify the post as a source of probable conflict amongst the diverse religion faith in the participants.I would remind  the paricipants that every opinoin given is respectifull though catiouos has to be made in considering other peoples feelings on the post.

I will proceed to let the participant give his or her position with facts and give members some time to internalise the logic.There could be valid reason for the post.I will also  let him know later of the possible conflict that would arise out of that post since the feeling of some participants would not be at ease including mine. 

After listening to the different views from members towards the post, I will also give my views by letting the subject participant to understand the diversity in religion amongst the participants and that, it would be wise for this participant to apologise if he or she doesn't mind.

As a concluding point, I would urge members to mind of others members feelings and put them into consideration before a post is made.However, each individual opinion is valued and respected- the zebras culture.

I would acknowledge and in the spirit of inclusivity seek clarification and see if the person meant to post it the way it is.

I would start by appreciating each of the participant in the discussion forum, for their lively and bubly contributions and postings. Also commend each and every participant who has followed the rules or guidelines laid down before the beginning of the debate discussion. Lastly i address the participant who has posted a rather not very pleasing message. This is how i would approach it, "In reference to what person A has posted, and in reference to our guidelines on how and what to post, Person A has deviated from the main objective of this debate. I humbly request Person A to expound further the meaning of his post or kindly apologise to all the participants ".

Please find my response.

I would post and assure the participants them that i will follow up the matter. Then i would get to inbox the participants who posted and get to rid his mind and feelings by asking him/her questions that wil put him /her at ease. 

Just incase he doesnt get online immediately then i wil post in the discussion forum and pose a question like if you were the admin of a group and such a situation arises how would you handle it?

In the process of their posting then they will be relieving their feeling and as its always said a problem talked us half solved.

I will make the other participants understand that i cant promise an apology from the the participant in question. But i wil make the understand that lack of an apology doesnt stop life. Its the way.we handle the situation that will make the participant in question feel that they wronged.

Appreciation of the posts made earlier

Remind the participants the objective of the forum

Explain the kind of posts that could elicit unnecessary reactions

State what I feel about the particular post in the forum, giving reasons for my feelings

The humbly request the participant who posted to take appropriate action on the contentious post. e.g. please withdraw this post, would you kindly apologize to the members, 

In this situation we are supposed to solve it using the Non-Violent Communication Model. I think in this situation as we have learned in the above model that there are two classifications of people the Jackal minded and the giraffe ones. I would try to understand the feeling of the person who has posted and find out what was his/her position and would also make others to understand that we have to allow the participant to share his part. As the writer says, we have to see this type of conflict or any other as a natural part of human interaction. In our language we say that axes which are put in one basket they have to always knock one another. It is also very important to point out the error and verify the meaning of the statement then clarify the mistake and bring out the need to apologize if he/she is willing.

In this way I would lessen the intensity of the post by letting the others see the importance of listening and letting others speak what is in their minds and at the same time come up with a consensus and help the participant to see that he/she should not have posted a post that would hurt feelings of many and also listen to him/her and provide a conducive environment for negotiation, compromise and mutual understanding. In this way a solution will be found peacefully by both parties.

• I will immediately contact the person that posted the message offline such that I share with him/her in details.
• I will try my best to show him/her the repercussions of posting such in a group of diverse religious views including what the professional code of ethics stipulates.
• I will refer implore the participant to apologize and withdraw the offending remarks. If the offender fails to cooperate, then I will return to the debating forum, condemn the act and seek the opinion of the memberson what should be done to the offender.
• Finally, whatever the members agree to do I will abide by!

In conflict management like in normal working places we need to realize that conflicts are inevitable. when the group is changing and new ideas are being dreamt up, brought about an implemented , conflict is inevitable. There can be no business change without conflict.

So the moment you realize this handle it sooner rather than later by asking politely the person who brought the issue to substantiate or explain what he/she meant. Then acknowledge there was a mistake and call for the group member to look at the big picture of why we are into this forum and move on.

later I would privately engage with person responsible to make them aware of the harm it may cause to other and make them understand how to tolerate other peoples' believes

First of all accept and let it be known to others that we are all diverse in our thinking and we respect each others opinions however in our diverse thinking, we have to be sensitive to others within the group. This will help quell tempers.

• Acknowledge the fact that a conflict has risen due to the posting done and so this should be resolved before moving on so no more posting on the matter.
• Remind the participants of the chatiquettes specifically touching on this issue and considering how people have reacted to it.
• Encourage participants to first listen and hear what they want to post and ask themselves if they would love to read and hear the same if read to them.
• Privately inform the member in question that what he/she did was in bad taste since it affected members yet friendship and teamwork should prevail.

I would do the following:

- acknowledge that I have noticed the offensive post and the reactions from other participants.

- Post 'Stop' so as to de-escalate the issue even as I recognize that many participants feel strongly about it.

- I would then identify in what exactly is offensive in the said post and why I think it is offensive, single it out, while calling the attention of the person who post it. 

- I would then remind the participants of the rules of engagement agreed upon at the start of the course and why it is necessary to follow them. 

- Under those previously agreed rules, I would give an opportunity to the person who post the offensive post to explain exactly what they meant.

- I would then directly address them within the forum, giving my opinion on the matter and a clear way forward. 

- Finally I would open up the forum again.

The first thing I will do is to define my observation to my colleque on the said statement. I will then explain to her my feelings and further tell her the reasons I am feeling so. Then I will reguest her to edit or delete information and apologize if possible

Using the findings on Dr. Rosenburg’s, Non-Violent Communication model, I would try to employ a strategy that would turn this ugly moment into a learning opportunity to promote learning and help me address other hot but important topics such as politics and gender other than religion. Rosenburg, M. (1995) asserts that when people get together, eventually there will be disagreements and those disagreements might turn into conflict situations. I would try to use this conflict situation as a learning opportunity in my case. Moreover, Research has demonstrated that conflict or controversy during classroom discussion can promote cognitive gains in complex reasoning, integrated thinking, and decision-making.

I would ask the students to stop further posts and to reflect on what they might learn from this particular post. This is for the intention of moving the discussion to a level that helps all to reflect on what issues have been at stake and what the message itself might mean. As a means to bringing my point home, I would prompt the students to think about how their reactions mirror the subject at hand and what they might learn from their own behaviour.

All this time I would ensure that, I use active listening skills to try to identify the needs at the root of “jackal feelings” and try as much as possible to focus on the problem and not on the person in a bid to observe the facts that made the student make such a post.

I would then express what I feel to the students clearly requesting the concrete actions that I would like taken concerning such matters in future. This opportunity would me a chance to revise the class norms to hot button topics such as politics, religion, race and gender.

Ignoring to point out this case would be a salient message that I am okay with such behaviour.

After reading the message I would politely remind the colleague that its no fair to attack  other peoples beliefs, and request that the offensive post be remove.

In case am facilitator I will individually contact the person pointing to h the danger of such posts and request of it removal and apologies in case he does not then I will remove it by vague of my position.

I would also take that opportunity to remind the other members of the forum of the need for respect of other peoples opinion and beliefs.

First, i'll greet them warmly,apologize for coming in late and welcome them. I'll start by acknowledging the offending post, I'll first try to find out why he/she decided to write that post. I'll give him/her an opportunity to express himself/herself and see if they are sorry. If not, I'll describe my observation and identify my feelings about the post and explain why i feel that way and ask him/her  to terminate the post and ask for forgiveness. I'll the emphasize the need to work together as a community and have other people's welfare at heart. Then I'll redirect the attention back to the focus topic.

Using the non violent communication process learnt from the earlier forum, i would;

1. clearly express that i do not feel comfortable with the post without blaming the participant or criticizing his view.

2. make the observation that the post does not contribute to the well being of myself as well as my fellow participants

3. make sure that i express how i feel e.g offended, sad

4.describe my belief on the subject matter of the post

5. then make my request that i would like the post taken down

Simply develop the language of the heart (Giraffe) rather than the language of the head (Jackal). I'll need to take a moment to cool down, as I enter the forum i'll first apologise for getting in late then ask contributors to the discussion to halt abit. At this moment, i'll bring into focus the need for all members to be sensitive with what they post during discussion. I'll then explain clearly how one of the postings had hurt me spiritually and emotionally and how it had a potential of hurting other forum members. I'll finally request the responsible member with all humility to desist from the same in future forum. It will be imperative for other forum members to learn from this particular episode to minimize conflict in future discussions.

 learn the intention of the heart behind the message, With that discovery, discuss compassionatly about the issue on hand. This form of dialogue, although offering no guarantees of agreement between disputing parties, sets the stage for negotiation, compromise, and most importantly, mutual understanding and respect